More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"2 out of 4 numbers prefer being in the bottom 50 percent. Half of all lovers also prefer being on the bottom."
"I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade reading level. If so, I can’t figure out why journalists would write something that the average high school senior can’t even read."
"77 degrees in the fall feels cold, and 77 degrees in the spring feels hot. That’s why I’m selling year-round-nudity for half-price."
"My past is black and my future is blank. My only canvas is the present. The best color to paint with is love."
"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"