"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"
"Like a ballet dancer, she keeps me on my toes. This dance we're doing, it keeps me so fit I know she's a perfect fit for me."
"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."
"The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt."
"Apparently I’m transparent—with my feelings, not with my body. I’m an emotional ghost, and if you can’t see my love for you it’s because it’s dead."
"I drive as fast as four tire swings hanging from a tree branch in the middle of winter. I also make love with as much speed and rotation."