More quotes by George Carlin

"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."