More quotes by George Carlin

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."
"I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I"in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I"in independence, individuality and integrity."
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."