More quotes by George Carlin

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."
"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes."