Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."

"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."

"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."