May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your ho... - George Carlin

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."

"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."

"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."

"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."

"How is it possible to have a civil war?"