More quotes by George Carlin

"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."