More quotes by George Carlin

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"Electricity is really just organized lightning"