"I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I"in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I"in independence, individuality and integrity."
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"Electricity is really just organized lightning"