More quotes by George Carlin

"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
"I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up."
"I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I"in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I"in independence, individuality and integrity."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."