How many seconds does it take to win second? As many as it t... - Jarod Kintz, A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal Kingdom

"I carry a shower curtain folded up neatly in my wallet, because you never know when you’ll never know."

"How many seconds does it take to win second? As many as it takes to win first—if you don’t use them properly."

"Sometimes looking like you know is better than actually knowing. People respect you, and defer to you, yet you don’t have the burden that comes with heavy knowledge."

"Empty packets of hot sauce remind me of the love I used to have for her. Now all I’m left with is this yummy taco."

"I sell Ziploc bags. They’re not empty—they’re full of hope."