More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel turquoise or teal. Depression and envy get all the pretty shades of description, and I love that, but in a pink/purple kind of way."
"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"Pepperonis are like edible polkadots. I made you a pizza dress, but I’m ashamed to admit I burned it. I’m afraid you’ll have to dance naked."
"I feel like dancing. If I bring an extra wheelchair for you, would you like to join me?"