More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."
"In the land of Gibberish, the man who makes sense, the man who speaks clearly, clearly speaks nonsense."
"I sell soap. Buy two bars and get a FREE shower. (Water not included.) Act within the next 15 minutes and I’ll even throw in the towel. I quit!"
"Relax. Just be. And be just."
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."