More quotes by Stephen Colbert

"I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?"
"Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority."
"Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset."
"If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it."
"There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious."