If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of... - Stephen Colbert

"Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority."

"Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some."

"I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?"

"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it."

"I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."