If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of... - Stephen Colbert
"If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it."
"If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it."
"There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious."
"Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some."
"I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."
"Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority."
"I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?"