More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I spend all my time trying to capture the moment. And when I do, I'll interrogate and torture it."
"The world is a sad place today. I miss the good ol’ days. Gosh, why can’t I just go back to last weekend?"
"An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents."
"I sold ten bags of hellos for five bags of goodbyes. I’d say that’s a good profit. Or it was, before I blew all my goodbyes on ex lovers."
"She said she loved me, and I believed her, because she was looking directly at another man when she said it."