"My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it."
"Last weekend I went out of my comfort zone to go hang out with people I’d only heard about, and I met one new person who turned out to be a very valuable contact. I should try networking at my family reunions more often, because that’s how I finally met my dad."
"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."
"Most scars are invisible. Damn transparent knives. Does anything cut deeper than love? I need to get some new body armor."
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"White letters plus white paper equals invisibility. Just because you can’t see my love for you, doesn’t mean I didn’t write about it."