"I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can."
"About adultery: Don’t go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home."
"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don’t know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I’m sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"
"Her dad died unexpectedly, so I hid the flowers, because flowers are reminders of spring and life, and also of headstones and death. Also, I hid the flowers because they were for another woman."
"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."