I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torme... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I hate when women give me that look. That overlook."

"About adultery: Don’t go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home."

"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."

"I applied for your love like a recent MBA grad might apply at Walmart today. I grew a beard on my chest and laughed through my ass just to get your attention."

"I am not the Bird of Love I once thought I was. But my silence suggests I may be the Pterodactyl of Love."