"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her."
"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."
"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don’t know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I’m sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"
"I could name my penis Steve, and it would be appropriate, as it is sort of shaped like my dad’s face, whose name is Steve. Not just his face, but his whole body and person is named Steve. And he’s a dick."
"I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can."
"I am my own love story. And I want to tell my love story, from the inside. Just add water and stir."