I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns... - Groucho Marx

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."

"Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while"

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself."