When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail yo... - Groucho Marx

"Room service? Send up a larger room."[A Night at the Opera]"

"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."