When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail yo... - Groucho Marx
"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
More quotes by Groucho Marx
"We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own."
"Humor is reason gone mad."
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today."