More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."
"They call alcohol spirits, because it’s the spirit turned liquid. Would you drink my soul if you knew I’d use it to get inside of you? After all, most men buy women alcohol so they can get inside them too."
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin."