More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I think about her sometimes, and wonder what she’s doing and who she’s doing it with. I suppose I could just stalk her Facebook page like a normal person, but that doesn’t seem as romantic as surveillance and GPS tracking."
"Buy one I love you for $3.99. Buy twelve for $48.00. That’s a savings of twelve cents—directly into my bank account. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD—Objects not intended for individuals who tend to put forever objects in their mouths."
"I love deeply. I love long. I love wide and high. That's right, my love is interdimensional, and my vortex will heal your body and soul."
"I am the coffee, and God is The Barista. Through me, he may awaken your soul. But the coffee knows not what flows through the mind of The Barista."
"Losing your mind is preferable to losing your woman, because if you lose your woman you will also lose your mind, and then you’re left with nothing."