More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."
"Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff."
"If it’s the last kiss, we’d better make it last. I hope you don’t have anywhere to be, because I have the rest of my life free."
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."
"She’s ignoring my texts. Maybe she’s dead. Oh, I certainly hope so. I’d hate to think she’s being deliberately unresponsive."