I had an out-of-body experience so strange that it felt norm... - Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

"I still remember her meandering Mississippi kiss. I sipped it like a riverboat captain in the desert. Ah, to be young and naughtily nautical."

"She asked me if I was seeing anybody else, and I said, No, the other woman is invisible."

"Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic."

"Some people say—not to my face, mind you—that I’m a cowardly son of a bitch. And that is simply not true. My mom is not a bitch."

"Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino secretary."