A Kiss is a terrible name for a piece of chocolate shaped li... - Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

"I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now."

"You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late."

"Webster’s—the original high definition entertainment."

"At first sign of crisis, the ignorant don’t panic because they don’t know what’s going on, and then later they panic precisely because they don’t know what’s going on."

"I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones."