I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as m... - George Carlin
"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
"How is it possible to have a civil war?"
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."