"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."
"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."