More quotes by George Carlin

"Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."
"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."