More quotes by George Carlin

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
"If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase."
"It's never just a game when you're winning."
"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"