More quotes by George Carlin

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"Electricity is really just organized lightning"