More quotes by George Carlin

"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
"Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes."
"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."