More quotes by George Carlin

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."