More quotes by George Carlin

"How is it possible to have a civil war?"
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain."
"How is it possible to have a civil war?"
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."