More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Her and I, we passed each other, and now she’s in my past. That’s one present I’d like to unwrap in the future."
"I just developed a gun that shoots mustaches. Sometimes a disguise can be deadly, especially if it’s your love you’re trying to camouflage."
"I haven't measured it, but I'll bet cat purrs vibrate at a healing frequency. Also, a whispered I love you almost certainly resonates with heart and DNA repair."
"My hands could be considered deadly weapons. You see, I write with both of them."
"I breathe onto a mirror just to make sure I’m still alive, and to see how good looking my breath is."