I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know w... - P.G. Wodehouse

"She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up."

"In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness."

"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."

"I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit."

"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."