I left my phone number on a napkin, along with trace amounts... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I believe the love shared between two people shouldn’t be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone."

"I can’t define what love is. That’s like eating a pancake with a waffle instead of a fork. But you know it when you feel it, like petting a cat wearing a synthetic fur coat."

"I am not the Bird of Love I once thought I was. But my silence suggests I may be the Pterodactyl of Love."

"If my name were C. Ross, I’d definitely be religious."

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"