I left my phone number on a napkin, along with trace amounts... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I left my phone number on a napkin, along with trace amounts of spaghetti sauce and garlic bread grease, hoping she’d call me. And when she didn’t, I panicked and filed a missing person’s report with the police."

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
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"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her."
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"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."
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"I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert."
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"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."
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