Napoleon made war like I make love—from a height of about 68... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"The only thing I could love more than you is two of you. And I suppose three."

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

"At the age of four, I wanted to be eight. At the age of eight, I wanted to be 16. At the age of 16, when I started driving, I wanted to be a Ferrari. And now, at the age of middle, I want to be Stalin’s mustache and matching armpit hair. But only for personal reasons, not political."

"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don’t know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I’m sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"

"Our love was covered in fur, yet I was the only one who wanted to pet it."