Napoleon made war like I make love—from a height of about 68... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"Napoleon made war like I make love—from a height of about 68 centimeters. (I wear platform shoes while I’m on my knees)"

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
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"I am not the Bird of Love I once thought I was. But my silence suggests I may be the Pterodactyl of Love."
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"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her."
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"I am the Love Ventriloquist. And if you say I’m not, I’ll say it so it sounds like you said I am."
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