"I lost my faith in my faithlessness. I believe I’m a nonbeliever now."
"If you share your soup, I’ll share my wisdom. I brought a spoon, but did you bring a pen? How are you going to take notes, you fool!"
"Our love was covered in fur, yet I was the only one who wanted to pet it."
"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."
"You know, if a waitress asks me if I want ketchup with my fries, I’ll reply, “No thanks, I’ll just drink water.” And that’s not just a statement about table etiquette; it’s a personal quote that accurately reflects my moral and philosophical belief system."
"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"