"I am the Love Ventriloquist. And if you say I’m not, I’ll say it so it sounds like you said I am."
"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."
"I believe the love shared between two people shouldn’t be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone."
"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
"I left my phone number on a napkin, along with trace amounts of spaghetti sauce and garlic bread grease, hoping she’d call me. And when she didn’t, I panicked and filed a missing person’s report with the police."
"I am the bathtub of love, but all Agatha ever wanted was a shower."