More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I wrote a thesis on love, and I wrote it in lipstick. Of course, I also got blood on the paper, because the lipstick was still attached to her cheating lips."
"It's a black and white issue: gray is grey, and there's no two ways about it."
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"
"Vodka in the shape of a human body would be an excellent dancing partner. I'm a bring my own chaser kind of lover."