"I sip my coffee like I fall in love—alone in a field of flowers, writing poetry for the mailman, who delivers love letters, but never gets any."
"I wish the military were the militerary. Less fighting and more reading."
"I chased the chaste, and they got scared and scurried. Then I stood still and loved where I was at, and all approached without fear of reproach."
"I don’t like breakfast, because I like things fixed and slow. Let’s just take our relationship morning by morning."
"Combine a fog machine and a cotton candy maker to create delicious mystery. This is the heart of romance."
"We made love like flamingoes are pink. You know what else was pink? My cheeks, because I was so embarrassed when I found out that she was the wrong woman."