"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."
"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"
"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."
"He said he came in second place, so I assumed there were only two competitors. But you never know with love, there may have been a third party involved."