"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."
"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."
"Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon."
"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."
"Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of passion and admiration."
"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."