"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."