More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his first name."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."
"With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell."
"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."
"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."