More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."
"I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag with dirt, because my goal is to be the largest land holder in the world by the time I'm 42."