When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I al... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday."
"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep."
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."