I once saw two endangered species about to have sex, but I h... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I once saw two endangered species about to have sex, but I had to put a stop to it because I suspected one of them of being a prostitute."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."
"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"Her beauty took my breath away, and allowed the spring breeze to fill my lungs with honeysuckle, jasmine, and desire."
"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."
"I wear gloves, because I don’t want to tease people with my naked body. I’ve got to leave something to the imagination."