I once saw two endangered species about to have sex, but I h... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I once saw two endangered species about to have sex, but I had to put a stop to it because I suspected one of them of being a prostitute."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"My ex-girlfriend was exquisite, while my current girlfriend is merely quisite. The ex always makes the past seem more excellent than the present."
"If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal. I would pour you a large glass of Michael Phelps, but I don’t have that much water."
"I pet horses and ride cats, because I’m a cowman. I’m too mature to be a cowboy."
"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"
"You can use your mouth to speak the words I love you, or you can use your mouth to kiss me and transport love from your mind to my heart."