"Meatloaf is graphable in how far ahead it is in likeability categories. You can also play Mop the Floor with it. I make love like I make dinner that makes cleaning the kitchen more fun for the whole family."
"I am the coffee, and God is The Barista. Through me, he may awaken your soul. But the coffee knows not what flows through the mind of The Barista."
"The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt."
"I want to love you down. I want to love you deep. I want to love you up. And I want to love you width all my heart. Now that is #4DFeeling."
"People don’t buy products—they buy people. It’s called slavery. I mean networking. It’s called networking."
"You can’t win in love. But if you could, I’d be the clear victor. Vodka is also clear, and I must be drunk."