More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Back when I was a competitive swimmer, I used to dream of going to the Olympics. But then I changed my mind, once I found out how expensive the tickets are."
"Are you an Is there? or a There isn’t! kind of person? I’m more of an Is there isn’t? kind of guy."
"I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing, I ended up waking it up."
"Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave."
"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."