More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."
"Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did."
"She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to."
"I put the “now” in knowledge. Well, I will put it there, probably tomorrow or tomorrow’s tomorrow."
"His shelf. Good. Noodle dust. Decaying brain collecting dust. Must insert it back in skull—what was I thinking?"