More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Last year, millions of students didn’t graduate from high school. They didn’t drop out, they were simply in elementary and middle schools."
"Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did."
"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."
"I have all the things I need to succeed in life, including a bucket of unicorn urine."
"When someone looks at something they don’t understand and they say, “That could be a good thing, or that could be a bad thing,” they’re just highlighting the fact that they have no clue what they are talking about. Everything in the universe, besides God, could be a good or bad thing."