More quotes by George Carlin

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"
"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."