I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny litt... - George Carlin

"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."

"I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up."

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."