More quotes by George Carlin

"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with."
"How is it possible to have a civil war?"
"It's never just a game when you're winning."