I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"After soul searching, I found myself. Then I found myself giving of myself to a charity that finds missing children. It's great to be found."
"We had a whirlwind romance. That’s what happens when you date a tornado. Hold on, I have to stop tweeting for a bit because Kansas keeps calling."
"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"
"I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left."
"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."