More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants."
"I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."